The Biggest Inspiration

What has inspired me heaps lately...

Letting Go and Missing Pieces

A few random thoughts my notebook has collected over the past couple of months..

"I've finally come to terms with the fact that it is better to let you go.
I'm slowly starting to realise that the only reason I couldn't let go of you for over 2 years now is the fact that you were never actually here.
As hard as it is to physically let go of people, I feel like it is even harder to let go of memories; Of the certain image we have in mind of someone.
This image that has been with me for such a long time now, that has always given me hope that someday i will be back in your arms, back to where I was the happiest I have ever been.

If we are around people, they slowly begin to live in our hearts.
But if we are apart from someone and all we have left are memories? These memories do live in our souls. And it is so incredibly difficult to let go of th
How do we let go of something that has never really been here?"


"Isn't it funny how everyone slowly begins to find they're 'missing piece', or think they did. I actually don't believe in the concept of feeling incomplete without someone else.. but still:
I wonder what happens to those who have been broken so many times on their way trying to find the missing piece, that no other piece seems to fit anymore? What happens to the lost souls that are only existing, not living anymore?"

melancholy nights

driven by emotions..
probs deleting this in the morning.

I'm laying bed feeling nothing but the warmth of your body pressed closed to mine.
A very comforting feeling actually.
Until I realize that you’re not here.
It were only my thoughts desperately longing for you presence.
My thoughts trick me, they trick me all the time.
They make me believe you are so close.
The thought of you takes me away.
Your words take me to a different place.
They take away the loneliness even if it’s just for a second and as soon as that moments passes it hurts so much.
Needing you.
Nothing but you.

And then I find myself, contemplating, fearing that I might not feel the same way when I wake up.

Have my thoughts tricked me again?
Ruthless, unpredictable, going strong and stronger.
Not stopping for anything or anyone.
Not letting anyone else close to my heart.
All my mind wants is you.
You and me, in the place where we left off.
Far away, in a space were nothing else mattered.

Is it only the melancholy driving my feelings?
Putting me in this head space?
Is it real? 


May I find myself here again, night after night.
Days just keep on passing by;
but the nights give me something.

They give me you.
Even if it’s just for a fond little moment, for a fond little thought. 

// 13/01/16

Artist of the Week - Rudy Francisco

Simply turning words into pure art.

Definitions - Rudy Francisco
"Envy is when someone walks around with a pocket full of “That should’ve been me”.
Insecurity is when you turn up the volume on all the wrong voices.

Hate is what happens when you put a shotgun to the face of understanding and it cowers in the corner.

Courage is ripping your heart from your chest and saying “Here, hold on to this for me”.

Truth is everything you tell yourself when you realize you are the only one still paying attention.

Self is whoever you become when the door is locked.

Trust is jumping into someone’s arms and knowing you won’t have to pick yourself up when it’s over.

Love is a tablespoon full of hemlock that I’ve been dying to try.

Faith is doing what you love and watching the bills pay themselves.

Failure is when you talk yourself out of becoming something amazing.

Victory is standing in front of the school bully with no intention to back down and a fist full of irony.

Success is explaining to your mother exactly what you do for a living without feeling ashamed. It’s falling asleep at 2 A.M., waking up at 4 A.M. and going to work with excitement stitched into the fabric of your smile.

Success is a thank you letter from a kid who lives in a city that you’ve never even been to. It’s breaking up a fight between a person and everything that’s telling them they will never be more than what they are.

When I was fourteen, my friend Adam stole a dictionary from his English class. He brought it home and we set it on fire.
Since then, I’ve been defining things for myself."

All of his poems are so incredibly pure and beautiful. You can find the rest of his poetry here.
I also listen to this non stop.

Another one of my favorites..:
"[...] I assume it's because I usually find myself dedicating time to things
That will only last a few moments
That's also why I tend to fall in love with women
Who would never love me back[...] "

(extract from 'My Honest Poem')

-Goodnight :)

Poems I never finished #2

"I have never truly loved.
Or have I?

I would remember your favorite song and listen to it on repeat
until the words were engraved onto my soul.
I would watch you sleep and see the dark skies turn blue, while this peaceful breathing of yours took my dreams away.
I would count the freckles on your face and darling, the way your eyes wrinkle when you smile,
I still know them by heart.
If the thought of you had a smell to it, it would smell like old lemonwood and pages of a book that haven't been touched in a very long time.

But oh well,
I have never truly loved I guess."

// S. - 2014

Poems I never finished #1

"I remember the places
The stars upon our heads
I want to tell the world about the beauty I have seen 
about the tears I have shed

but all I can find myself doing 

is crumbling up the pages when midnight rolls around,
feeling every vein in my wrists go cold as the thought of you lingers my mind
still writing about nothing
but you"


Wise Words Of A Friend

I recently had a conversation with a really close friend of mine. A special someone that I unfortunately never get to see anymore due to the fact that theres a giant ocean inbetween, seperating us. However when we get to talk, our conversations usually end up in these late night/early in the morning 4 hours long talks.
We talk about everything. He's just one out of a million; one of the few people you'll meet in life that will just easily captivate you with every single word they say. It's hard to believe but every conversation gives me so much, he's already taught me so much about life, the people in it and myself.
When we were talking the other day, we touched on the topic of what we want our lives to be like in the future. And a few questions crossed our minds-
Ever since people grow up they're taught to go to school, study hard, to then end up in a job that gives them nothing but pay their rent. I mean isn't there more to life?
Why is it so weird to others, not knowing what you want?
Why do people give you confused looks when you tell them, you don't want your life to be planned out from the start?
People associate being lost as something bad. Confusion is bad. Fear is bad. What if these things arent bad at all?
Why do we always, always have to know whats gonna happen next?
I feel like people need to start to learn that it might sometimes be the right thing to just let go of their fixed plans; let go of their ideas of what should happen tomorrow, next week, next year or even in 3 years.
Life has, and always will, turn out differently anyways. The tricky part is to understand that exactly this is the blessing we have in life and what we should be thankful for every day.

So now I feel like I should end this post with some words of my friend, that have stuck with me ever since: "Life is to precious to not do what you love. What else will you have to look back on in the future?"

Photo via tumblr